


The Art of Moving On

by canadianshipper



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Sad Ending, Slight Smut, and that's a mood tbh, levi is sad and gets drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 02:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20884793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadianshipper/pseuds/canadianshipper
Summary: After Nico ends things without explanation, Levi goes through the motions of trying to move on.





	The Art of Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> (there's a sprinkle of smut in here but its really not much)

Levi took his seat on the couch, rubbing his face clean of any signs of exhaustion or weariness. His glasses lay on the coffee table, where he kicked up his feet and closed his eyes. He let his arms cross over his face, covering any view of light he could possibly have. He was tired. This was obvious. But not tired from his never-ending shifts at Grey Sloan. Not tired of his mother’s constant texts and phone calls, ensuring that he’s okay, because according to her, Grey Sloan was “a hot spot for dangerous and life threatening activity”. 

He wanted to cry. To let the tears finally come after trying to hold them inside for the past three hours. His body was cold and damp, clutching to his skin from the rain pouring from the sky. He’d walked home. He didn’t care that it was 2:00am, he wasn’t staying in that apartment for any longer. Not after everything he’d said, and especially not after everything that Nico had said. He was physically aching. His heart hurt, and there was nothing that could take his mind off of it. Walking around Seattle for two and a half hours because he called his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) a heartless jerk was not the most grown up thing he’d ever done… but it was the only thing that made sense to him anymore. 

_ “it isn’t working out.”  _ Nico said in his somber voice.  _ “I don’t want to grow to resent you.” _

He didn’t say much else. Levi had barrelled right through, and upon hearing the dreaded “we need to talk”, Levi immediately went into his fight or flight mode. And he chose flight. Nico ended things and Levi didn’t want to stick around to only get hurt more. 

The tears eventually came as Levi laid on the couch, shaking from a mix of the cold that was undoubtedly coming, and sadness. The only sound coming from outside, the rumble of thunder peppered in with white flashes of lightning. As the rain fell, so did his tears. 

* * *

The next day wasn’t any better. Sitting in the hospital, watching attendings and interns walk by, shuffling their feet and checking things off their clipboards. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Frankly, if Nico couldn’t find a reason to love Levi anymore, what if there weren’t any? 

“Okay, sad sack, you need to snap out of it.” The faint voice of Taryn Helm, Levi’s best friend, cut through his thoughts. As Levi looked up, he saw Taryn squatting in front of him. A muffin in her right hand, a coffee in her left. She had a sympathetic look painted on her face. “Caffeinate. Eat. Reenergize, Schmitt. We’ve got work to do.” 

Levi frowned, but took the items anyways. “Thanks.” He mumbled, practically eating the muffin in one piece. He chugged down some coffee, Taryn’s impressed expression not hidden one bit. 

“Have you spoken to him yet?” Taryn took her seat beside Levi and set her hand on his knee. She watched Levi swallow his food before shaking his head. She shrugged. “His loss.” Taryn nudged Levi in the side before picking herself and walking toward the pit, the place where he’d been paged to five minutes earlier. 

Bailey was gonna kill him.

Maybe Levi would join forces with Grey, Webber and Karev and get fired.

Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. 

* * *

Walking through the pit, trying to pay attention to the patient’s worries, giving them sympathetic smiles and trying really hard not to burst into tears whenever the patient did. Multiple cases included young couples, dressed up in fancy clothing, reeking of booze. It didn’t help much to ease his hurt heart, but he did crack a smile when the bitchy head cheerleader vomited on Helm’s shirt. 

She glared at him before mouthing some sort of threat to Levi, one that he couldn’t clearly decipher but probably had something to do with ‘where the sun don’t shine’. 

“What happened over here?” 

Levi heard the voice and immediately his blood went cold. He felt the tears well up in his eyes already, and without another word, he quickly left the pit. He heard Nico call out to him, but he didn’t turn around and look. He just ran straight for the closest on-call room. 

* * *

Slamming the door shut behind him, Levi threw himself onto the bed, clutched a pillow and breathed deeply. He didn’t want to cry at work, he really didn’t, but what can he do? He should’ve known he’d see Nico in the pit. 

“Levi, open the door.” Nico said from the other side, softly knocking on it. Tears stung Levis eyes as they threatened to fall. He could feel himself getting more and more worked up. More calls from Nico came from the hallway, resulting in Levi sobbing in the pillow, using it the muffle the sounds so Nico couldn’t hear.

But alas, his efforts were futile as Nico still opened the door. Levi didn’t dare look up. Not when Nico close the door. Not when he felt the weight shift on the bed beside him. Not even when a hand patted him on the back. “ _ I’m really sorry, Levi. _ ” His words mirrored last night's conversation. Nico stroked his hand up and down Levi’s back, stopping just above his waist. 

Levi turned his head to look at the man beside him, only to see Nico lying parallel to him, eyes staring right back. He noticed tear tracks below Nico’s eyes as well, and without giving it another thought, leaned in to press his lips to those in front of his. 

Clothes soon got torn off, thrown to the floor. Nico was overtop of him, panting and moaning, kissing his neck as Levi wrapped his legs around his waist. Moans of passion came out, tears of sadness did too. Levi held on tight, knowing that sex wasn’t a big deal to Nico. Knowing that Nico wasn’t a blushing virgin, and even though Levi wasn’t either, one of them was closer to fitting those characteristics than the other. 

Before Nico, Levi hadn’t had much sex. He’d hooked up with Jo Karev his first day of residency, and another girl in medical school, but other than them.. He wasn’t sexually adventurous. And even if he was, it was strictly with women. Nico was the first man. And Nico was the only sexual partner that mattered. 

But Levi wasn’t the only sexual partner that mattered to Nico. 

Because he broke up with him. 

Nico finished and pulled out, despite all the protests, saying that he wanted Levi to finish too. But Levi wasn’t going to. So Nico pulled out. He laid beside Levi, breathing heavily. The weight of what they did settling in. They both knew what this was, and there wasn’t any point in pretending. 

“You should go.” Levi whispered after some time. 

“Levi, I-”

“Please.” 

And off he went. 

* * *

The next couple of days went by without another ‘meeting’. The last time was the last time. They hardly saw each other in the hospital hallways, and after Levi came by to grab the rest of things, he never went back to Nico’s apartment. He stayed home, or with Helm, and studied. There was nothing else to his life. Helm and Parker wanted to take him to a nightclub, so he could have revenge sex with a complete random, and move on. 

But he didn’t want that. He only wanted Nico. 

Turns out, though, getting drunk (with the pre-existing condition of sadness) took him out of that mindset completely. He  _ was  _ mad. Mad and drunk. 

And he wanted revenge. 

And revenge came in the form of Harry. 

Harry was the bartender at the nightclub Parker and Helm brought him to. They’d flirted all night, and as soon as his shift was over, took Levi home. They slept together in a rushed, messy meeting, and Levi left immediately after. 

He’d tried ordering an Uber, but gave up and texted the one person he shouldn’t have.

As Nico pulled up in his car, he honked his horn to get Levi’s attention. Levi staggered into the car and sat in the passenger seat, anger brewing inside of him since he saw the license plate. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Nico turned on the radio. 

Soft piano music played, and Levi instantly recognized the song.  _ This is a place where I don’t feel alone. This is a place where I feel at home.  _ Tears welled up in Levi’s eyes as he gripped the material on his jeans, trying to give himself something to sturdy himself. As the piano became more intense, as did his emotions.

_ Cause, I built a home, for you, for me. _

Tears went down his cheeks. But he didn’t want to bring any attention to it. He turned his head to the window and watched the road disappear from behind them. When the song ended, he could hear a faint sniffle come from the drivers side. 

Levi looked at Nico, and noticed tears going down his cheeks. 

Nico didn’t look at him. 

They finally reached Levi’s house. Nico sat in his seat, not saying a word. 

“Nico-”

“I’m sorry.” He still didn’t look at Levi. He gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles white. “I’m sorry.” His head fell onto the steering wheel and he continued to cry. 

Levi did not respond immediately. He just stared at Nico. For seconds that felt like minutes. Minutes that felt like hours. Until, Levi knew what to say. 

In the coldest voice he could muster, Levi spoke. 

“You should be.” 

And with that, Levi opened the door and slammed it shut before running into his house. 

* * *

The next day was rough. Hungover and heartbroken, again. 

He wanted to be over the relationship, he really did. He didn’t want to look at Nico and only think of the hurt he felt, he wanted to feel happiness again. 

And the glare that Nico gave him as they crossed paths in the hallway was really standing in the way of that. Of course, they weren’t the only ones to notice the tension. Other doctors started to notice that something was wrong, by the way Nico would scoff at anything Levi would say.  By the way Levi gave him the cold shoulder in the halls.

It went on like this for the next week. 

Until Dr Avery intervened. 

He’d stopped Levi outside of the hospital after his shift, pulling him aside. 

“Dr. Avery, is everything okay?” Levi asked. 

“Look, I uh, I don’t do this often, Schmitt. But I have nothing against the dude, and Link is getting tired of hearing him whine all the time, so I thought I should say something.” Jackson crossed his arms and sighed, already seeming over the conversation. “Nico, he’s uh, he’s not doin’ too hot with this breakup.” 

“He’s the one who ended things. Not me.”

“Yeah… but can you, I don’t know, Schmitt, could you at least try to be his friend? Make everybody’s lives at this hospital easier?”

Levi scoffed. “Look who’s talking.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Levi brushed it off. “Look, I’m happy Nico has his boys or whatever to talk to but… if he wants to fix things, he should come to me. Not get the owner of the hospital to lecture me or-”

“That’s really not what I’m trying to do here-”

He’d had enough. “With all due respect, Dr. Avery, mind your own business.” 

Before he could dramatically storm off, however, Jackson grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. “Take yourself out of the equation.” His comment was met by Levi, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Try and think of it like… you and Nico were never a thing, okay?”

“I’m still not-”

“Just listen. Let me say this, and I’ll go.” Jackson continued. “What if you never dated? You were just really good friends. He gets in a relationship, a really important one, but things aren’t working out. So he has to end things. You wouldn’t just ignore him, would you? You’d help your friend.”

“The two situations are different, and you know it-”

“It’s what a good friend would do.”

Levi’s jaw dropped. “Are you accusing me of being a bad friend? No, screw that, I’m a great friend. I’m a fantastic friend, he’d be lucky to have me as a friend, okay? Because I am  _ awesome _ . I’ve saved lives, I’ve helped people when I could get hurt because I  _ care _ .” Levi took a shaky breath. “Nico dumped  _ me.  _ Out of nowhere. I’m allowed to be hurt, I’m allowed to not want to be his friend right now. He broke my heart, and I feel so  _ stupid  _ for nothing seeing it coming! And that speech you gave… it’s all nice and cute to pretend like everybody can be friends, but you and I both know that’s impossible. The fact of the matter is that Nico hasn’t reached out to me either. He hasn’t been  _ my  _ friend. I’m giving him space, but he wasn't the one who just got his heart ripped out of his chest.” He ignored the tears welling up in his eyes, wanting to hold his ground. “Please, Dr. Avery… don’t tell me what I should do to fix things, because it wasn’t me who broke them in the first place.”

And then he got his storm off moment.

* * *

It felt silly to be here. Outside of Nico’s apartment, a crumpled t-shirt in his hands, wrinkled from Levi gripping it so tightly, winding it into a tiny ball. But he needed to know. It was practically driving him crazy, not knowing why Nico ended things so abruptly. 

And he was a good friend. A really good friend, and he needed to prove it. He needed to see if his friend Nico was okay. 

So he knocked on the door and waited. Waited a bit longer than he wished, but when the door finally opened to reveal Nico in his sweatpants and a t-shirt (both messy and unkempt, much like his hair), Levi remembered why he came. And why he was willing to. 

Because he loved Nico. As sad as it was, he loved him. And it’s okay been two weeks. Things are supposed to be hard right now, they’re supposed to make no sense, and Levi is supposed to be sad. 

“Hey.” Levi smiled. 

“What are you doing here?” Nico responded. His body blocked Levi from being able to enter the apartment, or look into it. The curiosity started getting to Levi, as he tried looking behind, but Nico continued to block it from him. “Levi.” He demanded, grabbing the attention of the shorter man in front of him.

Levi shook his head and sighed. “I.. I don’t know, Nico. Do you want me here?” 

A second went by, and Nico’s face softened. “Of course I want you here.” 

“Then what’s going on?” Levi crossed his arms, ignoring the urge to look again into the apartment. “Avery told me you wanted to talk, well, I don’t know what you want me to say.” Nico didn’t say anything, only fueling Levi’s anger even more. “Wait. I do know. You want me to beg you to come back. That’s it, right? You want me to kiss you, and sleep with you, and then when we’re happy again… you’ll leave me. Again.” 

And without a response, again, Levi moved to leave. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Nico.” He stopped in his tracks and turned his head back to Nico. “I deserve better. I deserve better, and I-”

“I’m moving to San Francisco.” 

“What?” 

“They got back to me. Finally.” Nico shrugged and moved out of the way to finally let Levi in. As Levi looked in, he noticed boxes and bins stacked on top of each other, the couch and bed up against the wall. 

Levi turned back around to Nico, who was closing the door behind them. “I thought-”

“So did I. But I guess not all hope was lost.” Nico smirked, trying to find the positives in this kind of conversation. But there weren’t really any. He pulled a chair up and sat down, gesturing for Levi to sit in the one beside it. “After Josh died, some part of me did too, and I haven’t been able to get it back since. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m still at Grey Sloan, constantly reminded of my mistake, or if it’s…” He stopped short. 

“Me?” Levi rushed. “Is it me, do I remind you of Josh?”

“Honestly? Sort of.” Levi moved to stand up, but Nico grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “But only because of how I treated you. How I treated everyone, really, I was a nightmare and… maybe I can get myself back by going to San Francisco.” 

Levi shook his head. “Well, what about long distance? I know the statistics aren’t great, but… God, Nico, we could try. Unless you don’t think we’re worth saving.” His eyes filled up once again.

“Levi, it’s not that-”

“Then what is it, Nico?! I thought you loved me!” Levi stood up again, this time, moving to the door.

“I do!” Nico followed behind.

“Then why did you break my heart?!”

“So you wouldn’t break mine first!”

Levi stopped in his tracks and turned around. “Nico, I-”

“You’re going to do amazing things, Levi. You’re so smart, and good, and everybody loves you. I’ll never be that here. But maybe I can be there.” 

Now a blubbering mess, Levi wanted to scream. “Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to come with you?” 

“Of course that thought crossed my mind! I’d love that, but you can’t. Not with your internship, or your mom-”

Levi kept shaking his head, tears now freely falling down his cheeks. “She would be okay.”

Nico took Levi’s hands and they sat down again. “But would  _ you _ ? We don’t even live together now, Levi.” He sighed. “I love you so much. And it kills me that I have to do this, but.. It’s just that, isn’t it? I  _ have  _ to do this. And if you wanted to come, we can talk about that, but I want you to be really sure. I can’t have you regret this or resent me for anything.” 

“I don’t want  _ this _ . It’s not right.” 

He found himself leaning into Nico’s body, his arms cradling around him, crying into his chest. They sat there for God knows how long. Crying. Talking, about everything. Eventually, Levi kissed Nico, and left. He didn’t say goodbye. And he never did. Because the next day, Nico left. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!  
come say hi on tumblr at the-mostfabulous-damnthing! xoxo  
(the song referenced is To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra)


End file.
